mamasgirl00

M took the boy to NYC this weekend to visit Young M. They left EARLY Friday morning (4:30am drive to the airport, you're welcome! with no gas) and a late night pick-up tonight (Monday).

What did I do? I slept very well every night. Not entirely all the way through, but mostly! When I woke up, I had no trouble falling back asleep. I think it has something to do with the much cooler weather at night. I made the hominy chili cheddar casserole I've been thinking of for years, since I worked 2 months at City Cafe all those years ago. It came out ok; a little high on the heat and the texture needs some tinkering. I'm gonna check again with my pal who has the recipe and see if there's supposed to be grits in there too. I stocked up on wine, on my dime! And didn't drink much of it either. :) Pulled up the rest of the weed/grass runners in my backyard. Three BIG piles of junk grass back there now. Almost did the White Rock Artists' Studio Tour, but decided I wasn't interested enough in thrown glass to slog through the map dots. I got up in the attic (it's really big up there. We should convert it.) and dragged down the Halloween/Dia DLM decor. Hung the skeleton and bought some orange LED lights for the front porch. I've really been wanting to do an altar now for few years, but WHERE?! Front porch?! Watched the last half of Woody Allen's "Crimes & Misdemeanors" which I had never seen. Very dark, that one. A bit of Saturday DIY TV in between hanging lights and sweeping wood floors. Had dinner with D&J Friday with drinks after at the Landing, and that was the only people time I had all weekend, aside from my private student yesterday. Very nice. I tried very hard not to pressure myself into being too productive or feeling like I should make plans with someone. I ate when and what I wanted, read books and magazines (the new Vanity Fair remembers Dominick Dunne, the celebrity crime & courtroom writer!), dabbled in cleaning but just generally tried to relax and not worry about anything. Like a private vacation. The weather was gorgeous. Bright, autumn blue skies, in the 60's and low 70's. The air is cool but your eyes hurt from the brightness kindof weather. Just lovely.

I'm enjoying the pacing of my yoga teaching right now. Unless I'm subbing for a friend, I have weekends off, except for one private student every other Saturday. I'm not teaching at all on Tuesdays at the moment either, and I'm up to 2 classes/day Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, one class on Fridays. I could stand another couple of classes during the week, but that would be my limit. I started volunteering last week, too doing a class at the women's county jail downtown with some friends. It's through an organization that provides other kinds of life skills and wellness classes for the female population at the jail. An amazing experience and expresses what the gift of yoga is really about.

Now if I could just put some more time into developing my online course. My enrollments are abysmal this semester. I'm earning more money teaching yoga right now, which is scary.

Speaking of, there are exam essays to grade and exchange student reports to fill out before my noon class. Best be off.

Two dreams this week about the same thing.

It's so funny. I haven't slept well for ages. Haven't altered much in my routine except having tried to adopt an increasing earnestness in trying to sleep without the accompanying anxiety that I won't sleep. And I've been reading "Boundaries of the Soul: The Practice of Jung's Psychology" which we all know is fundamentally dream-based. "All of the sudden" I'm dreaming. Which means I'm sleeping (better, anyway). YAY.

In the first dream I'm in the middle of teaching one of my private classes at CHI Studio. From the start we are continually interrupted by huge numbers of students (not the case in real life at CHI!) waiting to take a class. At some points several students are in the room with us, practicing but also calling poses over me. I'm overwhelmed. Someone has also turned on the overhead fluorescents (which I loathe. I would rather trip over something in the dark than use them to find the dimmer switches in the room.) So it's chaos, especially for what it supposed to be a private class of 2-3 regular students. They don't complain but I'm about to throw in the towel. A woman interrupts my instruction to ask me something (about a pose? because) I somewhat carelessly assist her into a backbend where she pulls something and hurts herself and then acts threatening toward me. I can't remember if she said she would sue me or simply report me. I know I was careless with her, but I'm also very frustrated at the situation and feel like she won't really take any punitive action. I think at one point I manage to get everyone out of the room to wait outside, but up to the end when I'm trying to at least give my students a decent Savasana or corpse pose, the intrusions continue.

In the second dream I'm scheduled to teach a class at CHI but I come in and again the fluorescents are on and there are people and tables and booths set up all over the room. Like there's a market or a fair going on. I had this dream last night but can't remember as many details. Seems like I just kindof gave in and looked around and didn't struggle to clear the room.

I've had this dream before, where I came in and the room was full of stuff, and I tried to have class around all it. Big wooden crates of stuff.

In all the dreams the far wall of the room is actually the back wall of the building and there are exit doors to the outside. In reality behind that wall is a ROOM FULL OF STUFF. THAT is an awesome clue. :)

It's the middle of summer in Texas, which means we've hit the 100-degree mark a few times now. Time to move the pots of even the drought-resistant potted plants into the shade before they burst into flames. Time to make like a lizard. Or an alligator if you have a pool. It's that hot, and there was a brief hail storm last week. Gotta take both cars in for hail damage estimates.

Only teaching two days of yoga at the moment, but 5 classes between those 2 days. Will add another 2 in August (going back to The Ranch!) Saturday mornings, and the Montessori kids and my Lakewood studio class again when school starts.

Just finished two summer terms of my online anthropology class, and need to gear up for 4 sections in the Fall.

Have 3 host families to support next year in Mansfield, N. Fort Worth and Carrollton. They couldn't be any more spread out. Seriously.

Young M is back from the revolution in Honduras, will spend a long week or so with D in McKinney with cousins and grandparents here at the end of July, then M gets ready to head to college. :( I mean :) I mean :(

So while Young M was away I repainted the sun room. I've had my eye on this room for yoga since we moved in 4 years ago. D camped out in here for a couple of years (I feel bad about that now...wish we'd had a better, more temperate space for him) and I never took a picture. I don't think I'd want you to see what it looked then anyway.

After we moved D out of here we stuck a futon and a dresser and some books, a yoga mat and a meditation cushion in here and called it our "salon." Still, I didn't really like going in there. You may remember, when we bought the house we had tenants. They moved out the day before M and the kids moved in. There was no cleaning, no replacing, no repainting. This room was still ick from the previous tenant(s). If that makes you go "GROSS!" keep in mind every one of these rooms will be completely gutted and restored at some point. Would you spend money on temporary fixes? Logic says no. Call me picky, but I could no longer practice or concentrate or even read a book in there and not be distracted by the "residue."

With Young M gone for 3 weeks I decided to paint. I used Iyengar's "Tree of Yoga" cover for my color inspire-ation. See? Well, you can sort of see.


More yoga books:



And the newly painted room. This painting M and I bought in Vancouver when we were on our honeymoon. It's a portrait of a Tibetan bride in traditional dress. It's beautiful and perfect for the room. You can't really see the paint color very well in these photos..it's got a bit more olive in it in real life.


Here's some anthro/folklore/ethnomusicology books and a copy of a pen & ink that my brother did of a dancing Shiva:


The view from the mat:


Much better, believe me. I needed to do it. No more excuses for furthering the personal practice, right?

Lots of good stuff happening; it's also BUSY TIME being the end of the semester and young M is graduating from high school and then is off to Honduras again for the 3-week trip this year. THEN...NYU in the Fall. I am so...proud? Envious? Wistful? Weird melange of feelings mostly because her going "off to college" takes me back so vividly to my university years, both undergrad and grad (Gallatin College at NYU, the Interdisciplinary Degree program, will be for Young M like my grad school program was for me, in many ways. I was fascinated to read for example, of some of the alumni degree topics and course content that point to the intersections between politics and performance. Very cool stuff.).

Anyhoo, I wanted to write something about my dear Krusty cat, who we had to put to sleep just two weeks after Sweet Potato. I didn't write about it then, because as my friend B said, "Probably no one would have believed you!" After the outpouring of sympathy we received about SP, it was way too soon.



The marriage between Sweet Potato and Krusty that happened when M and I bought this house had always been a rocky road. Krusty had never been fond of other cats. She tolerated dogs, but always got her hissy cat back up with other cats. So she and SP didn't share even the wide open spaces of this house very well. Krusty always loved being outside in the summertime and over the last year had taken to living outside on a pretty much permanent basis. She wouldn't even come inside to eat.

She tested positive for Feline Leukemia last October and we were advised to keep her inside. At the same time, she'd sustained a puncture wound in her right cheek and because it had become swollen with infection, we had to take her in to have it drained and pick up some antibiotics. While they drained the cheek, they found quite drastic tooth and jaw decay and ended up doing a major extraction.

Poor Krusty. This was our one-eyed, seriously accident-prone, vet-expensive kitty. You might take us to task for letting her roam around outdoors, what with her compromised eyesight and no claws, but she never strayed from the house and was visibly happier to be on her own away from SP. We always took her to the vet after the summer for regular shots and she stayed relatively healthy until the Feline Leukemia diagnosis.

After the cheek and jaw procedures the vet let us know in pretty strongly worded advice that we needed to keep Krusty inside full time. So we tried and we did. I must admit it wasn't quite as difficult as I'd thought it might be (the whining to be let out), and she did ok and kept to herself.

With her immune system weakened she wasn't able to heal completely from the cheek and jaw procedures and after 3 months or so developed another infection in the jaw, just as Sweet Potato was starting to show signs of kidney distress. Krusty had started out able to eat quite well post surgery, and then very abruptly stopped. We dosed her with antibiotics, hoping that we'd caught the infection in time to kill it, but ended up back at the vet right after we put Sweet Potato down.

The jaw wasn't healing at all and Krusty was pretty severely infected. The vet loaded us up with antibiotics, a rinse, pain medication, an appetite stimulant and high-calorie wet food. We followed this regimen for a week and took her back in. She was still losing weight. By this time she was just under 5 pounds. Our only options were invasive and expensive. She would have needed a referral to a animal mouth specialist who would determine whether the jaw was even salvageable. But she was underweight for the procedure. It was risky if we wanted to put her through it, but the vet also said it wouldn't be wrong to consider having her put to sleep, considering the unlikelihood of full recovery.

I knew we would have to put her down. This just had to be the last in a long, long line of drastic interventions she'd been put through since I became her steward seven or eight years ago. M and I both felt like we just couldn't justify the health risk and honestly, the expense any longer. Her quality of life had deteriorated so much in the last six months. The vet gave her the same subcutaneous fluid injection they'd given SP to make her comfortable and hydrate her a bit, and I took her home and told M. The kids were a little shocked. I'd made an appointment for the following afternoon. When we took Sweet Potato in and the vet gave her the initial injection - the anesthetic that lets them go to sleep first - it took a good 15 minutes for her to go to sleep. She laid there on her towel, on her side, just staring at M, who petted her the whole time. It took Krusty about 15 seconds. She collapsed just after the needle went into her leg, she was so underweight. I hadn't cried until that moment, but watching the anesthetic hit her so hard was pretty upsetting.

We didn't announce Krusty's demise to anyone but close family and a couple of friends. I was upset when I stopped to think about it - no sign of cats in the house anymore. No floor-level presence after so long is quite strange. I gathered up all the pet stuff and gave it away to friends and family. And pretty much the day after that, our neighbor cat, Hank started to make himself very much at home.

Which is cool. We still get to use our ridiculous kitty-voices on a daily basis.

Good night sweet kitties.

God. I added some stuff to my Anthro course today that I'd been meaning to for a while; should have done a long time ago. With everything else I'm doing right now I've been quite remiss in providing substantive feedback to my online students for their Discussion Board posts and Essay assignments.

I added content to my Orientation section that spells out what I expect to see from their written assignments. You know, stuff like "use your own words" and "don't skimp on examples". I also explained what an "A" level versus a "B" or "C" level essay means.

It's been so easy for me to put in just the bare minimum in administrating these online courses. One of the things I wanted to do now that I have time is way up my contribution and make my classes somewhat more interactive.

Well, I guess this is a step, right? I will start providing lengthy (when necessary) feedback on every exam essay, extra credit assignment and discussion board post.

We had to put Tater to sleep yesterday after discovering her kidneys had weakened to the point of near total failure. We already miss her so much.

I taught my Tuesday night class out in Valley Ranch last night. Last year when I was newly-minted, I worried a lot about what to do in class. I would anxiously write sequences down in a small spiral-bound notebook and keep it next to my mat, referring to it now and again throughout class.

I felt like I always needed to have an anatomical focus: hips/legs, shoulders/chest, breathwork, vinyasa, twists, whatever. And I was equally worried about filling the hour. Now I RARELY write anything down before a class. I've come into a fairly comfortable pattern in how I structure my classes and I can modify on the fly when I need to.

This year I want to be more of a student again. I want to learn and keep giving out what I'm taking in. Which causes me to want to structure my classes a bit (again). So last night I was all prepared to do some more advanced poses around opening the shoulders and chest and strengthening the arms and I came into my class faced with 3 raw beginner students, one of whom is healing from several gunshot wounds(!) around critical joints in the arms and hips.

So we did a very back-to-basics Beginner class, where I got to talk a lot about how to sit, walking through more static, Iyengar-style alignment issues in basic asanas, all the big, ugly, yellow florescent lights on so the new students could really look around and see other bodies and see me, and I could walk around and really see to offer modifications and adjustments. I think the beginners really appreciated it. The more regular or advanced students would never complain; but I love taking the time to break things down in a Beginner's class and doing that every now and then in an All Levels class. As I student I loved coming back to a Beginner level class, or going back to take an Iyengar class after months of nothing but flowing asanas.

For my Wednesday CHI class the room was chilly so we did a lot of heat-building vinyasa, working in all of the standing poses. In our final reclined spinal twist I read some Deep Anatomy from Sean Tebor. I'd like to add his site to the links page on my Web site (whenever I get around to THAT).

I like how he talks about anatomy and spirit; accessing the deep inner body as a way to deepening awareness of what resides there (spirit, soul, formlessness, light, energy, all of the above). About how are bodies are simultaneously matter and mind. Lots of good stuff there.

Now (sigh) it's time to turn my attention to dinner.

Slept in a tiny bit because I didn't sleep much last night. Not sure why. I think maybe it's because I showered so late last night and it woke me up.

Checked email. My Malaysian student who arrives Saturday will need to register for classes next Wednesday.

Put on a Skirt (!) and ran some errands. It's cold today. Want to make mala (prayer beads) with the Montessori yoga kids next week and found materials: beads, thread, wires, tassles, etc.

Bought envelopes to send out Host Family Referral forms to my current families.

Came home and ate lunch, checking email again and reading stuff online. Found my bottle of fountain pen ink and refilled my fountain pen. I'm frustrated with it though.

Emailed out looking for a sub for one of our CHI classes.

Talked to my sister. Planning a trip for March. :)

Emailed with a new Anthro student about working ahead so she can have a baby! Checked enrollment for Spring - YIKES.

Updated StumbleUpon categories. It's worse than Facebook. But look at this stuff:

http://www.brown.edu/Courses/FR0133/Fairytale_Generator/gen.html
http://www.dezeen.com/2009/01/12/cloud-lamps-by-yu-jordy-fu/

Today's FAVORITE:
http://www.niyazmusic.com/

Dusty sheetrock footprints all over the downstairs. The laundry room is gettin done! Washer/dryer in my bedroom. We're gonna try to get it painted this weekend while our exchange student is out of town. Other things that need doing:

Saving the flat of miniature mondo grass I bought weeks ago and have yet to plant. It may be too late...
Keeping the rest of the landscaping well watered...
Finish repainting my granny's secretary...
Strip the new chairs I got at an estate sale and find fabric to recover them...
Get a christmas tree and all that...
Do 2 Host Family Orientations...
Find more host families...BUENOS AIRES 09!
Set up 3 new anthropology course shells for Spring. ALL NEW CONTENT (video, and study guide, so new tests to write)
Decide which of my yoga classes to drop...
Decide whether to up the CHI yoga class prices in the new year...
Generally let go of some responsibility there to focus more on other things...

I think Dusty Sheetrock would be a great stage name for my Grant Lee/Tragically Hip tribute band...

Today another milestone in the long, long saga of my older brother. Suffice it to say, before I try to narrate the events of his downfall that have occupied us for the last oh I don't know, 8-9 years, he has refused the last hand of help.

I spend too much time lamenting the fact that I don't live in Austin, or anywhere near the Hill Country. So rather than the continual internal whine, how about a list of what makes living in Dallas tolerable and/or dare I say it, enjoyable?

1. Because it's that time, the Texas State Fair
2. Fair Park www.fairpark.org
3. The communities of Deep Ellum & Exposition Park savedeepellum.org/wp/
4. CHI Studio www.chidallas.com
5. Munger Place www.mungerplace.com/ & Swiss Avenue
6. The neighborhoods of Lakewood, Old East Dallas
7. Douglas Newby's brain www.dougnewby.com
8. Jeff Liles' History of Dallas music project www.myspace.com/historyofdallasmusic
9. My alum, the Arts Magnet High School
10. The whole arts district
11. Tsada Yoga www.tsadayoga.com
12. The Dallas Observer
13. Whole Foods
14. K Tokyo, Riyuku, Blue Fish & Tokyo One
15. The Goldrush
16. The Wine Therapist
17. Christina Thomas & The Cock & Bull
18. Riding a bike around White Rock Lake
19. Both of my Book Clubs
20. Zounds Sounds www.zoundssounds.com
21. Ali Baba
22. Downtown skyline at night
23. This guy Justin Terveen's photos of Dallas: www.flickr.com/photos/ninjatune/
24. Half Price Books & Paperbacks Plus
25. Bangkok City and Bangkok Inn
26. The Granada Theater
27. Turtle Creek
28. the DCCCD
29. Matt's
30. Mai's
31. Our parties
32. La Vista Court
33. Kalachandji's
...to be continued

Photo: Dianna Wray

Big Tex gets his boots on!!!

Read it here: http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2008/09/you_know_what_they_say_big_boo.php

Autumnal Equinox today...equal amounts lightness and dark. All things in balance.

With my Montessori School yoga students we talked about Saraswati, goddess of knowledge and arts. I printed them each a small card with her image and we made paper flowers from different colors of tissue paper, and talked about what each color signifies in Hindu thought.



Next week the school wants to add 3rd graders to my class. Oh boy. :)

M's out of town. Heading down to New Braunfels in the Texas Hill Country to shoot some photography for one of Bluegreen's homesite communities. He'll drive down and be back tomorrow in the late afternoon.

I read the entire new "Breakfast" issue of Saveur magazine, ate a whole cinnamon raisin bagel and cream cheese with my coffee; coffee with whipped, heated milk made into my special latte. Fridays are like my Saturday or Sunday.

This afternoon I'm attending a lecture downtown. It's this guy: http://mypage.iu.edu/~cjbonk/. I figured it was time to devote some time to motivating myself to do more with my online class. I totally flaked on getting my Fall courses up in time to get the marketing description out there for prospective students. My enrollment is WAY down.

This is one of the things I wanted to do after leaving my job last year. Really spend some energy redeveloping my course. And I haven't done it. I'm feeling a bit disconnected from the whole thing while at the same time, feeling restless at home. Best seize the moment.
 

Our little yoga studio will part of this:



Also want to go by here to see Allison Smith's work:

http://www.barrywhistlergallery.com/

Been meaning to check out Kettle Art and Space studio too...

Come one come all.

Crepe Myrtle trees are in full bloom right now. Shocking pink blossoms everywhere...



More at my flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hey-shanoo/

My girls started school yesterday. Came home exhausted and freaked out. Our student was overall ok, but more worried about the difficulty of her classes and workload. My student who's being hosted by friends of ours was suffering more from the "grittiness" perhaps, of the experience and the toll it might take on her overall spirit. I was seriously afraid the Mom was going to yank her out of WW immediately and put her in "the bubble." Where she'd be confronted by a whole different set of issues, mostly of the rich-kid drugs and sex variety.

First day, it's to be expected in this particular environment. WW is a big, old urban neighborhood HS and these days has a majority Hispanic student population. But it's also beloved by E. Dallas families and there's a lot of old-fashioned pride in being an alumni. So, I know they're going to be ok. WW hosts lots of exchange students every year. We just need to find their advocates, the people to trust and know they can turn to for anything.

Mostly, I think, they were just exhausted by the day itself. They're used to school ending at 1:30pm, home by 2. In their country, they don't move from classroom to classroom in barely enough time to arrive without being counted late or absent, their teachers move from room to room. They have more than 30 minutes to eat lunch, and don't wait in line for 20 minutes for something disgusting. They don't have to walk through metal detectors. They don't get hit on in the classroom by boys. In their country they have friends. They have their language.

This year or semester is supposed to be fun, in their eyes. Their class grades and credits don't count in their country toward their own HS requirements, so they don't want to bust ass in class or on homework. Trying hard to listen to many different American accents speaking English, they were entirely overwhelmed yesterday.

We did our best to reassure them that the rest of week will go a little more smoothly, and to use this week to figure out whether they feel like they're placed in the correct classes. Next week they can make schedule changes. I tried to encourage them to stay brave too, and not be afraid to ask, ask, ask about any and everything they have questions about or don't understand.

The girls are attending the same school as my stepson, though they haven't had a chance to get to know him very well yet, and he often walks to and from school from his Mom's house, not from ours, so they don't arrive or depart together. But he has a class with one of the girls, and didn't even act like he knew her yesterday. He got an earful from his Dad this morning and is now charged with making sure they're looked after, somehow. Poor boy, I can kindof imagine how conflicted he may have felt; are you supposed to know the German girl? Or is that not cool? Then again, he may not have felt anything! So hard to say.

I want them to be happy and feel ok there. I'm worrying like a Mom!

The other 2 students had good first days, though the 3rd German student had a similar exhaustion with the length of the day and the vastness of her big suburban HS. My Chinese student fared much better than I'd anticipated, so relieved about that.

This part is hard. AYA doesn't prepare or train you for this, as an LC or a Host Family. Last week enrolling the girls for classes and being in the school, meeting the counselors and some of the staff was so different from actually being in school. Last week was nice people, everyone asking after them and where they were from and all smiles. Yesterday being what it was, no one has time for them. So a bit of a shock for them, but one day at a time.

So M has begun work on the bar, this built-in that used to be a full-on closet with hangar rack and a door:

You might wonder, in a neighborhood that's seeing a fair amount of tear-down activity due largely to lack of storage in the old houses, why we would get rid of a closet.  I like to think that for every nook and tiny closet we take out, that we're adding equal or better storage back in. We built a water-heater closet that also houses brooms, mops and a floor to ceiling kitchen rack for things like tupperware, cake stands, extra pitchers and the like. The previous water heater closet merely closeted the water heater, nothing more. What was once a built-in hutch-style cabinet in the breakfast nook will soon be a small walk-in in the laundry room for storing lots of kitchen extras we didn't make storage for in the actual kitchen. And then there's IKEA. Wait until we get to the master bedroom, bath and closets. A wonderland of expanded storage. Not to fear, hoarders!

So the back wall will be mirrored, and the side walls will be this nice toned-down silver:

That's oil-based silver paint that was gone over with a white glaze, then another layer of silver paint and finally a thinned, glazed layer of silver paint. I think.

Concrete countertop from the front (unsealed):


And the rear:


And while the bar is undergoing reconstruction, here's what has become our licker cabinet:




Progress!

I'm going out to spend the night with one of my host families tonight in Hurst (TX, just past DFW Airport). Host Mother meets with the Student and her guidance counselor in the morning and is feeling a little unsure about the whole school thing. Not having done any of this before myself - including enrolling non-existent children in high school - I thought it best to lend both Mother and Student some support in this, and get the scoop on how one high school in particular handles the whole exchange student thing.

I know, I'm really nice to do this. Don't particularly want to spend the night with near strangers WAY out in the 'burbs, but look at what the student is accepting in coming here to live with a family she didn't get to choose! I need to do this.

Patiently waiting for my last family to contact me with their application and a time for me to interview them. Their/my/our student arrives this Thursday evening. The open-endedness of our hosting her stresses me a bit. I'm trying to be calm and accepting of whatever happens, and I am still very certain they will host her. But not having had yet that final "OK. Let's do it!" from them - even amidst all the family discussions I know they've had, the "we really want to do this for her" emails, "thanks for being patient" -  leaves a little, tiny 1% uncertainty in me.

Do I want to keep doing this? Start working on next year? I got a free trip to Cancun for all of my stress and hard work this year. I wouldn't mind honestly. No more "assignments" though - I'd like to recruit families myself and I'll take any host families that happen to land in my territory. I don't think I can handle more than 4-5 total. We'll see.

What would be cool would be to get some ethnographic work out of it. Figure out how to measure what kinds of "intercultural experiences" are happening from year to year. I wonder if AIFS/AYA is surveying this kind of thing already?